My nipple is on Facebook.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
