Tell her she can't have a vagina
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
