The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
