All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
