I feel like I'm in dance class right now
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
