she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
