tell your sister to shave her snatch
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
