school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
