Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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