I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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