My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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