I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
