Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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