i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
