Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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