I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
