When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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