Cold hands, warm shart.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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