Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
