I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
