New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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