You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
