i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I will be naked everywhere
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
