I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
