i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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