I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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