Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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