do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize