I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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