i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
