Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
