if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
