This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
