Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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