So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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