ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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