please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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