D3 body, D1 cock
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
