We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
