I think my fart just growled at me.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
