just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so let's talk penis.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
