they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
