I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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