Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just pee around me
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
