i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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