my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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