I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
