bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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