sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
