how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
